5 KEY QUESTIONS: TIPS FOR DEALING WITH UNCERTAINTY - PART 3
Many thanks to my friend and colleague, Ilene Schaffer for sharing her wisdom in today’s post, 5 Key Questions To Ask Yourself When Life Feels Blurry.
Early last month, my post described a strategy to shift from focusing on “What if?” to “What is.” The second post in the series shared what I thought would be tips from Supreme Court Justice, Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Today, Ilene shares her thoughts on some important questions you can ask yourself in these uncertain times.
5 Key Questions To Ask Yourself When Life Feels Blurry
Feeling a bit out of sorts? Not quite yourself? Stressed about the uncertainty of the future?
Exhale, you are in very good company!
Life usually feels pretty good when you are in the driver’s seat. You know, those times when you have 20/20 vision and your path is crystal clear. You have a destination or goal, decide your timing, who is joining you, and how you’ll make whatever you want happen. In a nutshell, the world is your oyster and you’re in control. As a coach, popping into the driver’s seat of life is precisely what I hope for my clients.
So what happens when there seems to be a never-ending veil of uncertainty? How can you move forward when life (and the rules) seem to change each and every day? The feeling of being in limbo with no end in sight is unsettling and can rapidly move into a state of being paralyzed.
As I help my clients navigate this blurry time of unchartered territory that is impacting our homes, work and social existence, there are 5 key questions that I suggest they ponder.
If getting back into the driver’s seat of life is top priority for you, these 5 questions might be just what you need to get unstuck, regain a sense of calm and increase your ability to create the momentum you desire.
What IS certain in my life? Create a list of those people and things in your life that you can count on and that do not change with the wind. Keep this list visible, so when you feel like the current of life is about to sweep you under, remind yourself that you have a lifebuoy to keep you afloat.
What window of uncertainty can I handle? In our current world situation, the period of uncertainty appears to be endless - which is daunting. If you feel that living with a lack of certainty for a week is manageable, just focus on the next week. If a few weeks of uncertainty feels doable, then give yourself that window to live within and make plans. If a week seems far too ambitious and overwhelming, focus on one day at a time. It is important that you control the boundaries of your uncertainty. Once you get to the end of “your” designated period of uncertainty, then you can set comfortable boundaries for the next period.
What is uncertain in my life that I can create some certainty around? Are there some areas, or specific things in your life, that feel uncertain where you could begin to put some pieces together and create greater clarity? Moving things from unknown to known will give you an increased sense of calm and feeling of control. Every tiny step toward greater certainty in one area can ease the generalized overwhelm in other places of your life.
What can I learn about myself from this time of uncertainty? William Bridges calls the period in between the end of one life stage and the beginning of the next, the “neutral” zone. Taking inventory of your life and what’s important during the neutral period is essential to moving forward in the healthiest way possible. While often uncomfortable, being still in the neutral period and not rushing through it, can allow you to absorb what you need to create the pathway from uncertainty to knowing. Understanding and acceptance of this stage is the first step.
What is uncertain AND out of my control? Create a list of uncertainties that you have zero power over. Instead of focusing on this list, put it aside. Your energy and mind space is best spent in areas where you can make a difference – spinning your wheels with no power to make a change will never serve you well emotionally or practically. Not sure where to put your gaze? Return to questions 1-4 above!
As you consider these questions, and you marinate in this time of fuzzy vision, how can you embrace the unknowing with the knowledge that this period holds the magical key to your next chapter? Before you know it, you’ll be right back in the driver’s seat!
Many thanks to Ilene for this great, thought-provoking article. If you’d like to know more about Ilene and her incredible work, you can check out her website, connect with her on LinkedIn, and follow her on Instagram.
I’ll be sending out additional strategies over the next few weeks to help you shift your mindset and better manage uncertainty.
What has worked for you? How have you been able to reduce stress and anxiety in these challenging times?
